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Location: St. Cloud, Florida, United States

I'm an asshole. A huge, gaping, freshly fucked asshole.

Tuesday, July 12, 2005

I Molest Shock Jocks

You wake up one morning and to get through your morning routine without falling face first into last night's pile of beer puke, you switch on the radio. What you stumble upon is a hack Howard Stern wannabe coaxing a three hundred pound man into getting his two inch dick sucked by a retarded basset hound. These people remind me of that guy in high school that would always respond to jabs at their enormous ego by repeating that they fucked your mother last night. Yes we know you're an insecure fuck who thinks the rest of us can live without hearing about how you shit yourself and tried to have a hooker give you rimjob, but please; its nothing to brag about

Thanks to J-Dubz and Beefnut's morning asylum, we can wake up with the sound of a washed up pornstar inserting Cheefey the gay midget's moped keys in her vagina. Now, because of the fine audio artistry of a shock jock, I finally, after all these years, know what Jamal the black jewish hermaphrodite's retching sounds like after sucking the toes of a 47 year old cross-dresser named Gino. Thank god for Shock Jocks, the likes of which I molest with startling regularity.

Creds to Tyler H. Craige


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